"Speak now or forever hold your peace"....On your special day you stand at the altar as the pastor makes the dreaded call to the audience.......you wait, cross your fingers, hold your breath, and pray that no one takes him up on the offer because Lord forbid someone actually opposes. You scan the room with a threatening eye and silently ask God to give you strength because if ANYBODY dared to ruin your special day it would take the Lord himself to intervene on that person's behalf. Clearly, it would be an undoubtedly awkward scenario in which you actually hope someone would hold their peace so that your happy union can be----->HAPPY. Okay, I'll spare you the dramatics and skip to the moral of my soap opera-esque intro: some situations call for silence and other situations call for speaking up and worrying about the peace later. Speak now can be applied to a wide array of other relationships outside of marriage, for the purpose of this entry we will apply it to friendships. Most would agree that friendship is a union of sorts which means that it can take just as much work as an actual marriage. It’s a given that friendships too are built on trust, loyalty, and communication; in a sense it’s just like a successful marriage MINUS the fun "physical activity" that married people tend to do *blushes-covers eyes*..lol. If any of the above are compromised......things can go to the left (*cue Beyonce's Irreplaceable*)......very quickly!
Now y'all know I have a tendency to keep it real at all costs so I will openly admit that I used to be "a tad bit" confrontational. Needless to say, I've had some instances where I've ushered situations PAST "the point of no return", made a left at "you've gone too far ville", and arrived at "all hell just broke loose land". Don't judge me......I've come a long way..smh. Anyway, this lesson was a difficult one BUT it was absolutely necessary because it reminded me to handle things the way that the Lord said to. Over the past few weeks I've learned that the last thing you should do in response to an offense is drag issues out and keep from addressing them in order to keep the peace. In other words, if someone offends you go to them and let them know that they've offended you. Here's the proof (Matthew 18:“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone"). DISCLAIMER: He also said that love is patient and kind (1Corinthians 13:4).....which reinforces the notion that the "confrontation" of sorts should be in decent order and lacking hostility. Realistically, emotions may spill over BUT it is "frowned upon" to kick down the door, place your hands on your hip with major 'tude', and yell "who wants a piece of me?!".......now may be a good time to add that it is not only frowned upon but it could also be illegal and dangerous in some states...smh.
What "had happened" was: In order to avoid a major mishap and possibly ruining the relationship I'd refrained from speaking my mind and instead opted to take a step back from the situation to bring myself from 10 all the way back down to 2. As a reformed, self-professed, loose cannon, I'd developed what I viewed as a fool proof system to insure that I didn't allow my mouth to dig a hole that my butt couldn't get out of, a self imposed gag order so to speak. See, approaching the situation recklessly can turn the tables, you'll go from being right to dead wrong, IF situations aren't handled with care that is. Ultimately, during the time I was angry at my friend I'd stopped speaking to her for a minute, okay maybe it was a little more than a minute. A day turned into 5 days and 5 days turned into 5 weeks.....finally I sent her a text that said I loved her no matter what and I'd hoped that all was well. She asked me why I'd been giving her "the silent treatment" and pointed out the many attempts she'd made to make sure that I was alive despite being baffled about why I was upset. When I finally explained why my panties were in a bunch (no, not literally..smh) aka why I was mad...she was apologetic and said that I should have simply come to her so that we could have resolved the issue much sooner.
At that moment I felt so silly; I said to myself "Self, you could have spoken up much sooner". It was then that I realized that you speak up and move on; life is short therefore when it comes to the people you value in your life there is no time for unresolved issues. They love you and they happen to be very well versed with the way you handle things, you say it, argue about it, cry about it, resolve it, and keep it moving. A strong relationship will survive a little "beefin" and you'll both be better afterwards. Today, I can truly say that I am grateful for this lesson and the growth that came with it. Though I was relieved I still couldn't help but to think that I could have saved myself a lot of headache had I just spoken up and not held my peace.The funny thing about peace is that it may be disrupted for a moment as issues are resolved but it can and will always be restored, by the grace of God. And to my friend, “Glad to have you back boo!”….Smooches xoxo.
Author: Ms. Made4Ministry
Hello Friends!...Welcome to my blog, my thoughts, and my ministry. *Clears throat loudly*....A little about me (or a lot)..Although I am and will always be a Brooklyn girl at heart....I currently reside in Hampton VA and I love it. I know that has God has strategically placed me here to align me with my purpose. I have no problem using my voice to glorify God as we are supposed to glorify Him in all that we do. God took the thing that used to get me into the most trouble and used it for His purpose. He has used my "real talk" method of delivery to reach those that need to hear the message in a way that they can receive and relate to. I am in the process of writing my book "Molding Me" so I am proud to report that I already have 6 chapters completed....it is quite interesting if I must say so myself. It is a detailed account of my journey from sinister to minister and it is a page turner. Don't worry MOST names will be changed to protect the the innocent and the guilty (it's not a tell all-it's a tell most...sigh!). Let's just say I've come a long way peeps!....Thank God for change because I don't think the world was ready for me before Jesus got His hands on me!