The BIGGEST WINNER is a challenge that aims to help to enhance your life through achieving your personal, physical, and spiritual goals. I’ve created this motivational challenge to help you get healthy in every part of your life.....while I'M NOT trying to be stick thin I AM trying to be sane, grounded, better, healthier, focused, filled with joy/peace, and even more fabulous than I am today! There’s no long drawn out pain staking process of change here…..if you dedicate the time you will see results in as little as 28 days...PERIOD. It’s about getting up and taking action to show yourself that YOU CAN DO IT. Sometimes we need to SEE change in order to realize that ACTION is the surest way to realize your goals. Other times we just need someone to say I WILL do this with you and LET’S make it happen. The idea is to look up in 28 days and say “awwww shucks…..I am one bad mother *shut yo mouth*”…LOL. On the other side of fear is accomplishment. For me personally, every time I’ve taken 1 step God has taken 3 leaps in its place.....I want everyone to SEE for themselves because your actions WILL speak louder than my words and the experience will stick with you forever. I promise you won’t be sorry! My hope is that you choose to do ALL three aspects of my challenge BUT life is about choices so you can choose to do two instead. As of February 1st there will be no one standing over your shoulder to insure that you do it….you are accountable to you. There is only 1 grand prize *drumroll*…the PRIZE IS YOU accomplishing a positive change in your life. Please click on the document below to review the full details and requirements of the challenge to decide whether this is something that you would like to participate in. Once you decide to move forward please sign up below and let me know which parts of the challenge you will be doing….at the 15th day mark you will need to let me know your progress, results, and experience. At the 28th day mark we will measure your overall progress. Thanks for joining us on this journey (or at the very least for expressing interest, browsing the site, and reading my rants..lol)….Let’s get it!. Good LucK!
*Please be sure to read/download the ENTIRE attachment below and save it for reference as it includes ALL of the specific details. If you have any questions for me feel free to email me directly at MoldingMinds@gmail.com*
"Speak now or forever hold your peace"....On your special day you stand at the altar as the pastor makes the dreaded call to the audience.......you wait, cross your fingers, hold your breath, and pray that no one takes him up on the offer because Lord forbid someone actually opposes. You scan the room with a threatening eye and silently ask God to give you strength because if ANYBODY dared to ruin your special day it would take the Lord himself to intervene on that person's behalf. Clearly, it would be an undoubtedly awkward scenario in which you actually hope someone would hold their peace so that your happy union can be----->HAPPY. Okay, I'll spare you the dramatics and skip to the moral of my soap opera-esque intro: some situations call for silence and other situations call for speaking up and worrying about the peace later. Speak now can be applied to a wide array of other relationships outside of marriage, for the purpose of this entry we will apply it to friendships. Most would agree that friendship is a union of sorts which means that it can take just as much work as an actual marriage. It’s a given that friendships too are built on trust, loyalty, and communication; in a sense it’s just like a successful marriage MINUS the fun "physical activity" that married people tend to do *blushes-covers eyes*..lol. If any of the above are compromised......things can go to the left (*cue Beyonce's Irreplaceable*)......very quickly!
Now y'all know I have a tendency to keep it real at all costs so I will openly admit that I used to be "a tad bit" confrontational. Needless to say, I've had some instances where I've ushered situations PAST "the point of no return", made a left at "you've gone too far ville", and arrived at "all hell just broke loose land". Don't judge me......I've come a long way..smh. Anyway, this lesson was a difficult one BUT it was absolutely necessary because it reminded me to handle things the way that the Lord said to. Over the past few weeks I've learned that the last thing you should do in response to an offense is drag issues out and keep from addressing them in order to keep the peace. In other words, if someone offends you go to them and let them know that they've offended you. Here's the proof (Matthew 18:“If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone"). DISCLAIMER: He also said that love is patient and kind (1Corinthians 13:4).....which reinforces the notion that the "confrontation" of sorts should be in decent order and lacking hostility. Realistically, emotions may spill over BUT it is "frowned upon" to kick down the door, place your hands on your hip with major 'tude', and yell "who wants a piece of me?!".......now may be a good time to add that it is not only frowned upon but it could also be illegal and dangerous in some states...smh.
What "had happened" was: In order to avoid a major mishap and possibly ruining the relationship I'd refrained from speaking my mind and instead opted to take a step back from the situation to bring myself from 10 all the way back down to 2. As a reformed, self-professed, loose cannon, I'd developed what I viewed as a fool proof system to insure that I didn't allow my mouth to dig a hole that my butt couldn't get out of, a self imposed gag order so to speak. See, approaching the situation recklessly can turn the tables, you'll go from being right to dead wrong, IF situations aren't handled with care that is. Ultimately, during the time I was angry at my friend I'd stopped speaking to her for a minute, okay maybe it was a little more than a minute. A day turned into 5 days and 5 days turned into 5 weeks.....finally I sent her a text that said I loved her no matter what and I'd hoped that all was well. She asked me why I'd been giving her "the silent treatment" and pointed out the many attempts she'd made to make sure that I was alive despite being baffled about why I was upset. When I finally explained why my panties were in a bunch (no, not literally..smh) aka why I was mad...she was apologetic and said that I should have simply come to her so that we could have resolved the issue much sooner.
At that moment I felt so silly; I said to myself "Self, you could have spoken up much sooner". It was then that I realized that you speak up and move on; life is short therefore when it comes to the people you value in your life there is no time for unresolved issues. They love you and they happen to be very well versed with the way you handle things, you say it, argue about it, cry about it, resolve it, and keep it moving. A strong relationship will survive a little "beefin" and you'll both be better afterwards. Today, I can truly say that I am grateful for this lesson and the growth that came with it. Though I was relieved I still couldn't help but to think that I could have saved myself a lot of headache had I just spoken up and not held my peace.The funny thing about peace is that it may be disrupted for a moment as issues are resolved but it can and will always be restored, by the grace of God. And to my friend, “Glad to have you back boo!”….Smooches xoxo.
Mistakes aren't the end of the world...they are the beginning of a second chance....Get it, got it, good!
Father's day has come and gone but I still can't help to think about just how awesome the love of a father truly is. There are many reasons why I can say that I love God....BUT if I were honest with myself and all of you...I would have to admit that I love God the most because He loves me unconditionally and He gives a lot of second chances, to sum it up I'll just say that He's the perfect Father. I sometimes stop to think about how things would go down if God were super strict and decided not to give us any second chances at all. You should know that the thought scared the crap of out of me so I quickly changed the channel in my head and went back to the channel that showed countless images of a merciful and forgiving God; that picture=much better..lol. When I think back on my life I realize that there were so many times that God showed me signs and tried to show me what would happen if I chose to continue to do what I felt like doing instead of listening to Him. Looking back, I realize that I was so wrapped up in myself that I missed the signs that could have saved me a whole lot of heartache... the "aha" moment seemed to keep escaping me. They say (whoever they may be) that hindsight is like having 20/20 vision, well I say its true, because when your in the moment you might as well be blind because you are oblivious to what is perfectly clear to those on the outside looking in. Whether they told you he/she was no good for you, whether it was mom saying not to go out on this particular night, or whether it was the little voice in your head that said go right instead of left. Whatever that sign was........it is quite possible that the alarm wasn't loud enough to get your attention and you had to learn a hard lesson as a result. For me, there were many times, many signs, and many lessons that I can recall and I now understand that all of those things were supposed to happen, they shaped my life, they birthed my testimony, and they showed me firsthand just how merciful God truly is.
I say all that to say that being hard headed happens!!!!!.....but God can turn anything around for our good....He has a reputation for taking that very thing that was meant to kill you and flipping it to work in your favor. If God didn't have His hand on my life.....well let's just say that I would be writing this blog from a mansion up in heaven, if the enemy had his way my big mouth and hard head would have been my demise. Luckily for me....God always fights for what's His and He always wins!
All I'm saying is thank God that as we learn we are still protected under the privilege that accompanies the grace of God. *This just in>>>hot off the presses: the grace of God can't be earned....it is given freely as a gift no matter how screwed up you were or still are and despite the mistakes that you will make in the future. Mistakes are made and God knows that we are not perfect, in other words, He already knew what you were going to do before you did it, He already expected it and started thinking about how He would use it to help you in the long run. I will insert my disclaimer here: Let me state for the record....by no means am I saying to go out and be reckless like it's a free for all...NEGATIVE!...Not so much!....and Absolutely not!...what I AM saying is that if you make a mistake don't ever let anyone or anything make you believe that God won't forgive you, that He will cut you off, or that He will ever turn his back on you because it is NOT true. Nothing that you do can ever separate you from the love of God. If that's not love, forgiveness, and mercy in it's rawest state....I don't know what is.
Yes, God gives second chances but let's not forget to thank Him, praise Him, and worship Him when He bestows His mercy upon us so freely and let's go to the furthest extent to make Him proud by trying hard to get it right the second time around. AND remember that despite it all.........you are loved, you are protected, and you are a child of the most loving Father anyone could have. Get it, got it, Good!
Daddy's Girl xoxo
So lately there has been a lot of "mess" going on and I am left to wonder whether I should be feeling "some type of way" about it. I promise, any and everything that could have happened in the past few weeks has, and guess what....I'M STILL STANDING because of the grace of GOD!
While things try to push you to the floor He's right there creating resistance and pushing back in the other direction to make sure you are steady despite the disruption that is trying to distract you. Whether its work, school, finances, home, car, personal life, or some other area of influence in our lives we all have to experience both sides of the coin, the ups and the downs. One minute everything is amazing and next minute we are feeling all "Carl Thomas-ish" (insert the song "emotional" here and press play) about something. The information I'm about to share can be helpful during the downs and help you to keep the wits about yourself either way, all things have to be taken in stride and you all still more blessed than most. In life we have the tendency to have all of the answers during the ups, but the downs usually throw us for a loop. If you are experiencing a down at this very moment then pay close attention, write it down, print it out, mediate on it or do whatever is necessary to hear what I am saying. If you’re having an up and can't relate to this lesson today then bookmark this page for future reference because the "down" is apart of the inevitable human experience. Perfection doesn't build character. Before I begin let me define "spazzing out" for those of you who are new to the term.
Thesaurus.com uses these terms to help us recognize if we are indeed having a moment: agitated, angry, at wits' end, berserk, beside oneself, corybantic, crazy, delirious, deranged, distraught, excited, flipped out, fraught, freaked out, frenetic, frenzied, furious, hectic, hot and bothered, hot under the collar, hyper, in a stew, in a tizzy, insane, keyed up, mad, out of control, overwrought, rabid, raging, raving, shook up, unglued, unscrewed, unzipped, violent, weird, weirded out, wigged out, wild, wired, worked up, zonkers.
While it's cool to have feelings and emotions about a particular person, place, or thing that is attempting to break your peace, it is not so cool to have those same pesky emotions influence your decisions and make you lose your footing. Easier said than done my dear friends, trust me I know. God never said that we wouldn't have trials and tribulations and He definitely never said that you aren't supposed to have feelings; you are human and therefore flawed. He does say to be slow to anger and use your wisdom in all things. At the end of the day it is not only healthy but necessary to embrace how you feel, doing anything but embracing and exploring these feelings leads to ignoring them, ignoring them leads to a regrettable moment of "black out". Now, it's easy for us to say that we have evolved from a place of "spazzing out", over reacting, being dramatic, or catching cases over some "mess" that is going on in our lives. You and I both now that is NOT true, no matter how saved, sanctified, changed, reformed, grown, and mature you are....you too are susceptible to spazz out at any given moment and time. When the heat gets hot in the kitchen we ALL have the propensity to get hot right along with the rising temperatures. Like a pot, our tempers start to boil over and the next thing we know we have flipped our lid and said or done some things that may not be becoming, you know with our newly conceived character and all ; )
At the end of the day we cannot control people or their actions but the one thing we must control is ourselves!
When things are being thrown at you from every direction do you ever stop to think that maybe that's for a reason? Ummmm....wait-then again, if someone takes a swing at you do you stop to think why they are swinging or do you automatically start to pull out some defense. Ever stop to consider what lesson needs to be taken away from a particular situation so that you can pass the test and move on. Who wants to keep doing this over and over?! Even when you thought you had these lessons down packed there is always going to be a new thing that is sent to test you and push you to the furthest extreme, it is within these moments that character is forged, like gold going through the firing process. None of us like pop quizzes, we like to study and prepare for what is to come, no one likes to be put on the spot, but those are truly the best testing conditions. In that moment you are contemplating how you will proceed, trying to recall past lessons, and thinking of all the things you are going to do next time to avoid getting caught out there again. In that moment you a realizing how important your next move will be and in that moment you may just win your battle. Now again, I emphasize that this is easier said than done and it takes a continuous effort on your part.
With all of that said, I re-introduce to you the old tried and true saying...."Mind over matter". Feeling in control is half of the battle when it comes to your emotions. Our thoughts influence our emotions and our emotions influence our decisions. Ever notice that you could be thinking about something sad and automatically feel sad or think of someone who makes you smile and instantly start to feel all warm inside. No need to answer, I know that these moments have happened to you! I challenge you to start taking that same thought process and using it to influence your mood and your reactions to the things that go on around you. While we can’t control the things that happen around us we CAN start to think about our responses differently. Self control is the key word here.....whether our emotions feel good or bad, we still need to be the voice of reason and show them who's boss. Stop falling victim to your mood and letting your emotions have the run of the house. YOU run the house…and you run it with your thoughts, the most powerful weapon you possess.
1 Peter 1:13
Therefore, prepare your minds for action; be self-controlled; set your hope fully on the grace to be given you when Jesus Christ is revealed.
2 Peter 1:5-7
"In view of all this, make every effort to respond to God’s promises. Supplement your faith with a generous provision of moral excellence, and moral excellence with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with patient endurance, and patient endurance with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love for everyone."
Independence is an awesome thing and there's nothing more attractive than a woman who has her stuff together. This is the woman who is career oriented, driven, and motivated toward her goals in life. She has her own house, her own car, her own money in the bank, and takes care of her responsibilities. She juggles all aspects of her life and blends them all seamlessly.....through it all she shines! SOUNDS GOOD! (In my highly sarcastic voice-lol).....but when everyone leans on you...who do you lean on? Who do you reach out to when it seems like the pressure is building up and you want to avoid dropping the "proverbial" ball. After all people are depending on you...because of you they eat, because of you they live, because of you the world goes around ....right...WRONG. ALL independent women I know (including myself) have wrestled with the prospect of reaching out for help, delegating responsibility, or just sitting back and letting someone else take care of you. Many of us hold steadfast to the belief that if you want something done right.you have to do it yourself. Although it's great to DO...there has to be balance. There has to be a point where you entrust some of your daily responsibilities to someone who you trust and deem capable of handling "certain things" with the same tenacity and excellence that you would. Delegating is simply taking a simple task, wrapping up into a neat package, and handing it to someone else. Since there is only one you, you have to prioritize and distinguish what needs your hands on interaction and what can be handled by your trustee 3rd party. I have learned, and I am still learning that there are tasks that only I can do and there are tasks that I can reach out to others to get done.
The 5 rules of reaching out are 1) reach out to God first and ask for direction 2) find a great support system (Hint: You already have one if you have an awesome mom like mine, a close friend, a family member, or other trusted 3rd party) 3) Utilize your support system 4) Outline your expectations and needs 5) Reward and express gratitude to those in your support system. (After all, they do help you keep your sanity). Those around you know “how you roll”, they know you can make it happen, and they know they can call on you. It’s time to reach out to those same people and help them to help you by accepting their advances.
Sometimes our past disappointments can stop us from asking others for help for fear that they will either say no, mess up, walk out, or let us down in some way shape or form. I literally hated to use the words "I need" because I had made up in my mind that I didn’t NEED anybody. The word need just sounded so ummm....well.... NEEDY. We have to move past that and realize that God removed certain people for a reason and replace those people with those who will provide the help you need. He needs you to be in tip top shape so that He can use you. Past hurts helped us to build our character and made us strong enough to stand alone....Great! Hooray! and Owww!..BUT that's not the end of the story. The hurts came to shape us and move on...they didn’t come to set up camp and stay forever. I’m realizing and teaching others that you do NEED. You need time with God, you need "ME TIME", you need a minute to sit down, you need to let someone help, you need to be happy, and you need to be grateful, you need to be healthy, and you need to be sane. If you don’t meet YOUR needs then you can’t meet THEIR needs. Now that I have totally exhausted the word need I will close by saying "WE need you to put YOU first Ms. Independent.
6 Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you NEED, and thank him for all he has done. 7 Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
So it's like 2am and this one topic comes to mind just in time for Monday...the start of the work week. The symbol of fresh beginnings and the chance to try again this week all that you gave up on last week. New beginnings...out with the old and in with the new....brings me straight to my topic. The subject of ex boyfriends, ex spouses, ex lovers, and ex friends have been surfacing a lot lately and the ladies have requested that this topic be addressed....like to hear it?...well here it goes! Clearly people are exes for several reasons, it could be as simple as the relationship grew stale and its inhabitants grew apart or it could be that trust was broken and there was no repairing the damage. Either way, broken relationships are difficult because there are emotions attached; we all have some issues and baggage related to the ex that needs to be released. In order for us to be prepared for when God sends us the person we ARE supposed to be with then we have to do engage in “real talk” and define what it is that was lost, gained, and pushed under the rug throughout our lives. The biggest mistake that people can make in a relationship is to take the baggage with them instead of unpacking the bags from the past and going through all the junk inside. Let’s visit some possible ex categories shall we:
1) There’s the one that got away: This person could have possibly been the one if only you would have shown some “act right”. They were the Clyde to your Bonnie & you were the Bonnie to their Clyde plus everything in between. Conversations were effortless, fun was built in, and they were your bestie through thick and thin. When you closed your eyes you daydreamed about your wedding day, how fabulous you would look, how many babies would come, you thought about wonderful it would be to see him waiting at the end of the aisle, and you would smile to yourself as you thought of your future with this person. There are times when you think about what went wrong and considered how your actions could have contributed to the demise of the relationship but then you chalk it up as a loss and try to move on. Deep down inside you still got it bad for this particular person and if they came back today, right now, in the middle of the game or your favorite show, you would take them in your arms and the rest would be history.
2) There’s the one you sent away: This is the person who you really loved and grew close to after letting your guard down in order to start off “fresh”, you gave them a chance and let them into your heart. Everything was good or so you thought, next thing you know they turn out to be someone totally different than they portrayed in the beginning and their TRUE colors start to show. With the emergence of the true colors you become color blind and shell shocked that you have been duped, bamboozled, and hoodwinked. Now it’s too late and you’re in way too deep. Your family and friends have all grown to love this person and you have defended him to those you love, you have worked hard at trying to keep the façade. AND THEN…..one day you wake up….cold water splashes on your face, the alarm clock goes off, the covers get pulled off, and you stub your toe (insert another annoyance that gets your undivided attention here). You realize they aren’t even that “fine”, they don’t do anything to contribute to the relationship, they have no ambition or goals, they can’t hold a simple conversation, and they are a jailbird, a needy nag, or just simply a loser (feel free to choose any combination provided or make your own).
3) There’s the one that was exposed: This is the person who lied from the beginning and said that it was everything that it wasn’t. Are you married?...NO. Do you have any children?...NO. Do you have a job…YES. Did you sleep with her...NO. Are you on the DL?...Heck No (which will be the answer). ….Are you single and ready to mingle….But of course! After a few weeks, months, years, or decades you find out that this person has a whole family tucked away in another city, town, borough, state or country. You ask the obvious questions and get answers that pretty much lead to “I wanted to eat my cake along with the icing, the appetizer and buffet, all with the bonus of indulging at the open bar”. The trust is broken, they are branded a liar, you are angry enough to slap faces to the ground and the truth has finally come to the light. You’re devastated because you loved this person and you ponder all of the valid moments in the relationship and wonder if it was all a lie, a fabrication, another chapter in this made up story. Your even madder because you were not given the choice of whether or not proceed after knowing all of the facts but instead you were tricked into cheating and used as a pawn. No options were given and you were cheated out of the decision making process which could have saved you a whole lot of trouble and heartache.
4) There’s the ex-friend that was set outside of the circle of trust: This person was your best bud, you two did everything together, talked about everything, and helped each other through good and bad times. You’re the type that doesn’t even entertain a lot of “female friends” and would rather not in order to alleviate any issues. In this case you let your guard down because the beginning stages of trust were built and the friend had shown loyalty and proven that they deserve to be in the circle of trust. Next thing you know the two of you agree to disagree and all of these pent up feelings and hostility spews out, thus creating a wound that cannot simply be covered with a band aid. OR you find out that she talking about you behind you back and discussing the details of private conversations amongst her other friends….and she had the nerve to be taking a public poll about how “they felt’ about the situation. OR you find out that the entire time that you were telling her you man problems she was using that as insight into how she would then get with your man behind your back. OR you simply wake up and realize that she wouldn’t, doesn’t, and won’t go to the same extremes that you go to for her and the relationship is" take" instead of give and take.
Whats' Next: Okay, so now that we have discussed some possible scenarios pertaining to broken relationships now we can move on to the chapter on forgiveness, healing, and moving on. In the meantime, you can begin to process some of these scenarios and identify the one that’s pertaining to you. Keep in mind that there are soooooo many different categories that I couldn't possibly cover them all today BUT if you want to add one to this list and help someone else grow from what you have learned feel free to comment. Take this opportunity to list the issues that are attached to your old relationships and define what you need to do differently the next time. After all, before you can truly forgive you need to clearly outline who you need to forgive and what they have done to you that needs to be released, this needs to be done before forgiveness will be “official”. See the next blog posting for further insight into this topic-Part II resumes tomorrow. Same time and same place tomorrow peeps! Love ya & Smooches xoxo.
4 Questions: Are you are pulled in a million directions? Do you have a ton of people that rely on you? Do you ever take time out to do something for yourself?....and Lastly, Who will take care of you if you don't take care of yourself?
Today's topic has to do with self care and simply remembering that you have to take care of you no matter how important you are to those around you. In fact, the more important you are to those around you, the more obligated you are to take care of yourself. Taking care of others is a natural instinct that women have, instinctively there is something that clicks in our heads that tells us if it has to get done then we have to be the ones that do it. If your anything like me, you'd rather do it yourself to make sure that it gets done with a level of excellence instead of just barely making the grade. Although there is nothing wrong with "getting things done", there needs to be a minute, hour, or day where nothing gets done. Doing nothing does not necessarily mean that you are not being productive. The mind, body, and spirit all need time to process, recuperate, and recharge in order to do it all over again tomorrow. When we constantly give and pour into others without REPLENISHING ourselves, we will find that we are left with an empty jar and a full mind. Spend some time with you, get to know yourself on a new level, and give all of your worries to God. After all, He's fully equipped to handle all of your cares, offer peace & solace as He works on your behalf, and provide a solution that will always be in your best interest. Challenge: Pick any day this week and choose a block of time (hours or day) to turn off your cell phone and indulge in something that makes you feel great, whether it's a good book, a Mani & Pedi, or a drive to nowhere. Let me know how much fun you had with your new bestie.....she's the coolest!
Matthew 11:28 "Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
Good Morn-ting (in my Madea voice-lol).
There are 900 trillion+ reasons why God is Awesome but here is 1 for the record. God is so awesome as He often put's us in position to excercise the most recent lesson that he has taught us. So yesterday I blogged about the difference between being assertive and aggressive.....well today God must have said, "let's practice so we can see your progess". This morning I had to "deal" with a woman who attempted to be difficult to say the least and keep it rated G. Coincidentally (nothing is ever coincidence but it sounded good), the conversation did have to do with money and a situation similar to the example that I gave you all in yesterday's blog....(shaking my head and smiling because of how strategic God is). I had the pleasure of cleary and assertively letting her know what I needed, what I needed her to do, and when I needed it by. Everything in me wanted to say "Let me tell you something you rude, ignorant, hefer (and that's the nice version)". Instead, I firmly redirected her throughout the call, stated the facts with a lack of emotion, and advised her of the intended deadline. At the end of the day, there will always be circumstances presented in life that force us to "deal", even people who are considered passive get pushed to the point where "dealing" is necessary....usually by then they have already exploded and hurt somebody!. We have to learn how to have balance in ALL things in life. In my case, God had to work on me because I had no balance, when I went off somebody better run, hide, and call the proper authorities. Over the past 2 years He has taught me how to carry myself and address certain issues without going all the way to the left (insert caller dialing 911) or the right (passive & pushover mode)......but instead staying steadfast in the middle of the two. We are all a work in progress and when we don't get it right we can always tell the Lord we jacked it up, ask Him to help us get it right, and then keep it moving. Thankfully for us, He is forgiving, merciful, and loves to give second chances. You know what I say Practice makes Polished....they may say "practice makes perfect" (whoever THEY are) but I have officially changed it and made it my own...sorry people-I have promised myself never to use the word perfect in relation to myself or other human beings. God...now that's another story-HE IS PERFECT!
This life we live is no movie, book, or fairytale therefore things are almost never scripted. In real life we have to interact with others as apart of our daily grind. Unfortunately, we will not always be able to control or predict what another person's reaction is going to be BUT the good news is we can control what our reaction is going to be. A dear friend once told me that learning "to deal" is one of the most important life lessons she has learned, I can say the same for myself as this is the art I am mastering as we speak. Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am a very upfront person, but I too had to learn BALANCE and the art of how to "deal". I define it as follows: To deal is to address, resolve, or redirect an issue without hesitation, procrastination, or getting arrested in the process. Scenario: Suzy tells Annie that she will repay the money she borrowed from her in the next 2 weeks instead of today as originally agreed. Annie could either A) Rip her head off B) Put Suzy in a choke hold (which would clearly be inappropriate) or C) Be assertive, redirect her friend in love, and state the expected solution. Being assertive can be effective in getting your point across in a direct way without displaying way too much, over the top, exploding emotion. Annie chooses C), She responds "Unfortunately that will not work for me as I have already allocated those funds in accordance with the date that we had originally set. I have no problem helping you when there is A NEED but I too have financial obligations so I NEED to meet up with you sometime before 8pm today to pick up the money. Okay-Great-Thanks...Love you!". When you go all the way to the left and start yelling, screaming, and throwing things or people, there is an automatic defense switch that the other party tends to turn on. With the assertive approach stating the facts is all that is necessary: The fact is YOU borrowed money, I helped YOU, and YOU gave your word I would have it back by XYZ date. People can always dispute "how you feel" or "how you react" but they can never dispute or deny what is a fact!. Any questions? : )
Since the beginning of 2010 the word Impact has been emphasized in ministry and beyond. In short, the word impact means to have a huge effect in a short amount of time. The other definition is the collision of 2 objects. Everyone that you come in contact with (whether it’s long term or just for a season) is left with an imprint but it is you who decides whether or not the impact will be negative or positive. If one begins to look at what that means it’s clear that every time people talk to or meet someone new they have the chance to impact them and leave them in a better state than when they met them. The power of one is a phenomenon in itself once people begin to process how their existence in this world can cause a chain reaction of change. Looking outside of one’s self and embracing a state of selflessness is one of the greatest gifts that a human being can give. At times people tend to underestimate just how powerful they truly are and neglect to tap into their true potential. You have the power to change lives all by yourself! Give someone an encouraging word, help someone over a hurdle, feed someone who is hungry, clothe someone who's naked, wipe someone’s tears, or send up a prayer on their behalf. If you can exhibit the love of God through your actions them you have changed a life. All of these things make a huge difference and the small things add up to have a huge impact! God is pleased when His people help others and the overall goal is to please Him...it’s a tiny task in exchange for what he has done, is doing, and will do. Purpose is waiting for you!
Author: Ms. Made4Ministry
Hello Friends!...Welcome to my blog, my thoughts, and my ministry. *Clears throat loudly*....A little about me (or a lot)..Although I am and will always be a Brooklyn girl at heart....I currently reside in Hampton VA and I love it. I know that has God has strategically placed me here to align me with my purpose. I have no problem using my voice to glorify God as we are supposed to glorify Him in all that we do. God took the thing that used to get me into the most trouble and used it for His purpose. He has used my "real talk" method of delivery to reach those that need to hear the message in a way that they can receive and relate to. I am in the process of writing my book "Molding Me" so I am proud to report that I already have 6 chapters completed....it is quite interesting if I must say so myself. It is a detailed account of my journey from sinister to minister and it is a page turner. Don't worry MOST names will be changed to protect the the innocent and the guilty (it's not a tell all-it's a tell most...sigh!). Let's just say I've come a long way peeps!....Thank God for change because I don't think the world was ready for me before Jesus got His hands on me!